Tonight’s presidential debate took an unexpected turn when Donald Trump was served with legal papers live on CNN, notifying him of an indictment for the murder of an elderly man.
“I didn’t do anything!” Trump exclaimed to authorities. “He was already like that when I arrived!”
Trump, originally set to debate President Joe Biden, insisted that the elderly man suddenly collapsed on his own accord.
“The very idea…” the elderly man began before collapsing onto a nearby podium. It was then revealed that the man had been supported by a hidden device and couldn’t stand unaided.
“I arrived here, everything seemed normal. CNN, you know, they’ve been quite cordial tonight,” Trump remarked. “But then there’s this deceased old man in the corner. I thought, well, the plot thickens, you know? And I was just about to crack this mystery wide open.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Officer Nolan of the APD interjected. “Let’s continue this discussion downtown.”
